I've had it with this rain. I'm taking time off to my villa on the coast del pheasant plucking and I will leave this writing in the hands of my dear friend Pierre Dreyfuss, a French.
On my way to the gate number I was accosted by a traveller asking what, as a British, it was like to be ruled by a masturbating failed pay sergeant, a doped up pervert and a polished turd. Well, when have we not been ruled by such specimens of humanity I replied and I use the word 'specimen' in the purely medical sense.
I reasoned that if you defecate in a swimming pool, then your stool will soon surface. And so it is the case with David Cameron, our Prime Minister: shit always floats to the top.
And it is this vein of modern politics which has finally revealed the purpose of Westminster. You know that's where all the paedophiles are. A purpose built facility to contain all the perverts and child molesters. Pity you keep re-electing them isn't it? Oh well, your call.
Enjoy the world you have created, I'm off for a holiday in mine.