Saturday, 13 April 2013

Not My Problem!!

Being considered intelligent is about as much good as being praised for having a large bladder. No matter the amount of space, you're still full of piss.

I don't know what Justin Beiber's new haircut is like and it's killing me. Well no, more a pity its not killing him. Assad is really going to have to pull the big guns out if war in Syria is to compete with that hot bit of news.

Things not to do on my holidays...well, talk about them for one. Having to recall what you did for your holidays is such a jaw-breaking yawn. Anyway I still am on holiday, unless something comes to mind.
Nothing has, but you gotta be interested enough for that to happen. Bored, bored, bored at the minute.

What not to do on your holidays...Go to Blarney Castle? Actually that's a good one. Go there, stand in the pissing weather to kiss a bit of stone that will give you the gift of the gab. Do you see the queues linining up at this place? That's a lot of people with the gift of the gab, I don't think they've thought about how fucking noisy that will be. Anyway there is something which can make you talk a lot of constant shit. It's called cocaine and it's not recommended so why is this?

So you go there, pay your money, stand in a queue in the rain and then are lowered over a sheer drop to kiss a stone window lintel. Not the expected at all. Why's it over a sheer drop? What are they saying here? The ones who just plummet to the ground keep the talking numbers down? In what twisted way did this become a guarantee that you'll become a noisy asshole? Of course, not the stupidest idea in human history...

The stone itself has a big wet patch where all the kissing happens. So you kiss the stone and you get the gift of the...facial herpies. Went to the Blarney Stone, kissed it and now genital warts are springing up on my face. Don't know how that happened and the swellings make it difficult to speak. Not as bad as when you get them on the back of the throat of course, but not sure what sort of gift that is really.

Y'know, let's cut through the crap and say right here, that being a chatty sort is way overrated. Ok, you're able to make small polite talk, yeah yeah, and so you're a more attractive person and all that. But then if you are so quick to chat then you transmit your thoughts the minute you think them. They never are given the deeper thought and consideration they require by internal perusing. You are far more the interesting person if you give great thought to it. I can say that as it bigs me up loads. I tell you, you are more a person of consequence if you talk less, think more.

Kind of like eat less, shit more, but for the modern age. Back to the jacuzzi.


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