Monday, 15 September 2014

Scottish Independence

Well I never!

I promised myself  I was going to keep my particular hat out of this political ring. My ten cents were to remain in my pocket where as foreign currency they were useless anyway. Nope this was one for the regular pond life and I would just sit back and hope for the best.

But no joy and for one reason. After weeks of furious discussion I must congratulate the 'No' campaign in Scotland and Westminster for making me a 100 percent supporter of the 'Yes' vote. Go for it! VOTE FOR INDEPENDENCE NOW! Put as much distance between Scotland and these loonies as you can. Dig a canal on the border and float away, do it while you can!!

So something has gone BADLY wrong with the 'No' campaign to produce this reaction eh? Yes it has. I was an undecided guy, with a wistful love for the old Scottish nation before 1707 and all that. But if I was Scottish I would vote 'Yes' as much as possible and as many times as I could. Get the old trick of the dead out to vote just in the name of sanity!

Never in all my life have I heard such a suffocating tidal wave of negative thinking as I've heard from the 'No' campaign. I mean ok, voting 'no' is technically negative anyway but you know, you gotta have something worth voting 'no' for don't you? I've yet to hear it and there's only a few days left. They really will have to pull some cosmic rabbit out of a hat to impress me now. I mean aliens and inter-dimensional beings will need to prove their existence and get behind the 'No' vote now to change my mind...

The main problem is I've always found the concept of 'Union' to be a jaw-breaking yawn anyway. The most boring political invention of all time; no wonder they needed fear to get people behind it. That's the only excitement 'union' has ever produced. It was dull in 1707 and again in 1801 and just meant people ended up getting stuck at Westminster and nothing ever happens there. So you cannot appeal to me over the concept of 'union'. It is deeply miserable thing and is only of interest to historians and insomniacs. Better together? At what?! Sport? English xenophobia? Narcolepsy probably is the answer to what we do better together.

The warnings of what will happen if there's independence is the main bag of the 'No' campaign. Some really good negative vibes for them to send out there and they love being negative. Ok so, um NHS affected? Well it'll be out of the hands of the Tories so that's actually a blessing.

All the banks and businesses will go south? Oh dear that  is actually quite serious. All the useless morons who tend to cause financial meltdowns will leave Scotland, how will the nation cope?! Just be ready for the jolt as the country leaps up a couple of feet in sea level due to the sudden idiot depletion. And then resultant gaps are filled will new ideas and bright business minds who've been looking for a chance for years to break through the glass ceiling. Yes the more you bang on about business leaving the more you point out what a wasteland of capitalism we have put ourselves in. The slow death of us all through credit and debt goes on, it's just an independent Scotland will have a few less turds rising to the top than the rest of us. Jammy swine!

Back in 1707 Scotland went into union with the threat of financial ruin unless the parliament signed away the country's independence. In 2014 Scotland must vote no or face financial ruin...interesting how up to date the tactics are these days, ain't they? Wow is Westminster using 21st Century arguments or what?! They may even have an app for it. '#orelse' probably. The one difference this time is the people themselves are being asked what they think. In 1707 it was UK or lump it. In 2014 it is their opinion deciding and nobody in Edinburgh is getting a bribe to vote the right way...well, I think so...

I'm going to be the last person to tell people how to vote but I can't vote and I wouldn't want to unless I was Scottish and in Scotland. Ancestry gets you a kilt but not a vote. I would vote Yes if I could so that's my invalid vote and possibly opinion anyway.


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