Thursday, 28 February 2013

Only for me and my crow

I want to be a tree. Ah memories, just like the wee auld doll who wanted to be inconglubberance...There was a strikingly surreal aspect to some of the lifeless yuppie boy ads back then. Except if you were a tree some asshole would come and chop you down for economic advancement. Nah, don't want to be a tree anymore.

The walls of Newquay, hold on to their beauty. Is there much benefit in the past? No, except there was more money in benefits then. We still had right-wing scumfucks in power who encouraged us to spend and spend some more, plus all their mates were in the private banking sector destroying our lives. But you got more value for your benefits then. Not now. Did the system fail people then? Inevitably. It still does and always will.

Whenever 'Dave' Cameron comes on the TV maybe I should listen to him, instead of growling "fuck off you cunt" and switching the channel. I mean there's people who don't think he is a cunt. There's his missus, his children - so far and his biological family. I'm sure he's made friends who also don't think he is a cunt.

The problem is if you don't want your child to be considered a cunt, don't send them to Eton. And don't fucking think of sneaking them into Harrow either! Do you go to Eton for a good education? Not really, there's many schools which give you just as good, if not better an education. So why send them to Eton?! To turn them into cunts? Well, who sends their children to somewhere for expressive cunt-making purposes? That's stupid. Maybe it's a case of somewhere that has a good reputation but is actually just an endless pit of shit. That would be Eton. The Hitler Youth in the 1930s had the same image of zesty enterprise. The fact that its members were being turned into emotionally unstable, genocidal maniacs escaped most parents attention. That's also like Eton.

Anyway 'Dave' and his ilk aren't Nazis...much. They did say recently that work was the best thing you can do. Work makes you free eh? 'Dave', that is showing your ideological roots to the most boi! Work makes you free while we put large sections of the public sector out of work and make no providence for new jobs and still bail out our old school chums in the banking sector and give them bonuses for fucking up. Put Ian Duncan Smith to work stacking shelves as he's a useless piece of shit at the job he's doing. Thank goodness you don't need brains and competence to be a politician for yew guys would be seriously fucked. 

And there's a point. Say you don't vote for these mainstream arseholes. Say we all vote for the Monster Raving Looney Party and their policies for licenses for all fish under two and Westminster to become an owl sanctuary. They get into government and for some reason they also get rid of jobs and take your benefits away from you. What the fuck happens? The MRLP doing this sort of shit as well. All I can imagine is something totally convinces them that the shit way is the best way and then they all go about singing a tuneless song like:

"Oh capitalism, lovely capitalism. Fuck me up the arse with your big, green dildo..."

That seems the most likely. Nothing turns you into a fucktard better than capitalism.

Hey! Here's a concept that doesn't work. If I try and vote for a party that seems semi-cool, then they never get elected. No matter who I vote for it's some unionist/nationalist pain in the arse that gets in. That sucks, but then are they in power? No, it's usually some Tory scumfuck voted into Westminster who makes all the decisions. I didn't vote for them either plus I don't get to vote for them and yet they are my government. There's something about this Union Fleg shit where it's all going wrong. Of course 'Dave' is currently in power and nobody voted for him. Nick Clegg did but that was some sort of mutual rim-jobbing arrangement probably. Teabags!Anyway I have no say who rules me as I can't vote for them and whoever I vote for never gets in anyway and would never be able to get into power outside Ulster. This is a democracy?! You are shitting me, seriously.

Don't even start this shit about having an elected head of state. Funny how the guys who bang on about a republic tend to be right-on/liberal/socialist/communist dudes. Ok, Britain goes to the vote for their first elected head of state. "Hmm" says the voting population "I think the candidate who is pro-capitalism, anti-immigration and privatising everything tae fuck is the most to my liking..." Ohh! Which side of the political spectrum does he come from? It taxes my grey matter greatly. Oh yeah, he'll lower taxes as well, that's right. This isn't the sort of head of state the right-on wanted when they started pushing for an elected head of state. Oh well, shit one. Ah Britain, how fucking predictable.

Really, I should've gone to Eton, become a useless cunt and get paid for fucking up. I would have been great at that! But then I wouldn't have had this blog. Oh decisions, decisions...


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